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Hold me..

Journal Entry: Sun Jun 8, 2008, 1:25 PM
My new medicine is driving me up a wall.
I'm going insane- and I'm not saying that in a funny, joking matter.
I'm losing all of my grip on reality, and my sanity is being robbed from me.
I keep having wild nightmares that are scary for reasons I don't understand. Everything is scaring me- from a lawnmower outside my window to the mirror on the left of my room. I feel extremely lonely, and trapped.. and I can't shake the feeling something is going to go gravely wrong.
I started having a feeling something bad was going to happen.. Thursday.. or maybe it was Wednesday.. I got so scared I even called my mum and warned her to be careful. I warned everyone I could to be careful... I went to sleep, in hopes of getting rid of anything coming my way.

I feel just.. afraid. Afraid of everything and nothing. So lonely.. I wish I could just cling to someone and be rocked to a peaceful sleep. I haven't slept in nearly 24 hours now, afraid of my dreams... afraid of the unknown.. afraid of every day noises and items.. afraid of what my mind is doing to me.

We go see my counselor again Tuesday. Maybe he'll be able to help me...

I'm afraid. And my heart aches like I've just lost something or someone dear to me. I just..

I'm so afraid.

  • Mood: Worried
  • Listening to: Nothing
  • Reading: Nothing
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: Nothing
  • Eating: Nothing.
  • Drinking: Nothing

Devious Information

  • Current Age: 14
  • Current Residence: Louisiana, bby
  • Interests: Photography, sculpting, virtual pet communities
  • Favourite movie: Employee of the Month
  • Favourite band or musician: Within Temptation
  • Favourite genre of music: Anything but rap. :/
  • Favourite style of art: I prefer traditional when it comes to drawing.
  • Operating System: PC
  • MP3 player of choice: iPod
  • Wallpaper of choice: Something simple
  • Favourite game: Psychonauts
  • Favourite gaming platform: Xbox 360
  • Personal Quote: " This lacked lulz. :| "
  • Tools of the Trade: Clay, pencils, pens, anything I can get my paws on. Oh, and MSPaint.

deviantART Notice

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Devious Comments

*XenoPredDragon:iconXenoPredDragon: 2 hours 3 minutes ago
Thanks for the fav. :)
:aww:

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:bulletgreen: Click here!! :pointr: [link]
~Witbik:iconWitbik: 2 hours 59 minutes ago
Thanks for the fave!

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...tsuyoku naritai...
*vegetathealmighty:iconvegetathealmighty: 9 hours 43 minutes ago
Thanks for the fav ^^

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Dragons? tattoo design? Bishonen? Aliens/predator? All in my gallery :D
~Boba-Fett-Fan-Club~avpalternative~Raistlin-Majere-club
~wermspat:iconwermspat: 11 hours 22 minutes ago
thank you for the :+fav:

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Now that I'm in proper states of mind I find I leave them much quicker.
~ExAbrupto:iconExAbrupto: 11 hours 48 minutes ago
Thank you very much for adding one of my mushrooms to your favorites. I feel blessed each day I find a new shroom to capture with my camera! Shrooms, shrooms, shrooms! I wish I could kiss them without turning crazy.
~Songo555:iconSongo555: 12 hours 31 minutes ago
Aww, thanks. I needed that. c:

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avatar made by [link] -loev-
~KeswickPinhead:iconKeswickPinhead: 12 hours 46 minutes ago
Here is something you might like. [link]
A sentiment that is good advice to all of us
Peace
:)

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A chuckle and a WOW [link]
GUARANTEED by ME, Your friendly neighbourhood Pinhead!:D
*canada-club ~crazy-club
~Sushi-The-Pug:iconSushi-The-Pug: 15 hours 46 minutes ago
thanks for the fav on my filled out Meme! I appreciate it!!!

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~Sushi the Pug
*Resident-evil-STARS:iconResident-evil-STARS: 22 hours 59 minutes ago
Wow, thanks for all the :+fav:s~!
please be sure to comment next time though. ^^

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"I don't know where you get your confidence from, Chris." ~ Albert Wesker (RE: Code Veronica)
*ray72285:iconray72285: 1 day 2 hours ago
Thank you kindly for the fav. :hug:

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~Fang-Whitewolf-EEH:iconFang-Whitewolf-EEH: 1 day 9 hours ago
Hey! Thanks so much for the favs! =D :hug:

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They don't get me, so they call me a freak. But they only call me a freak because they don't get me.

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Music is ife. And life is a sondtrack.
~Kit-chii:iconKit-chii: 1 day 12 hours ago
Thank you for the :+fav: :aww:

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:bulletred:Fanfiction
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:bulletred:Atashi wa Daisuki
~Jambs04:iconJambs04: 1 day 15 hours ago
Thanks for the fave! :D

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Smallpops!!!

Support your Alien Invasion! [link]
~Songo555:iconSongo555: 1 day 15 hours ago
Morgans ftw. :3

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avatar made by [link] -loev-
~Cubist-Assassin64:iconCubist-Assassin64: 1 day 15 hours ago
Thanks for the fav =)

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~Yours Truely
~caroro:iconcaroro: 1 day 15 hours ago
hey! its a Morgan like meh O:< -random deviant-

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"The tyrant grinds down his slaves and they don't turn against him; they crush those beneath them." -Wuthering Heights
~lotusdogz:iconlotusdogz: 1 day 16 hours ago
Thanks for the fav! <3

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House <3 [link]
=YumiKanzaki:iconYumiKanzaki: 2 days 12 minutes ago
Thanks for the :+fav:! ^^

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According to ED I'm a whiny fucktard suffering from a massive butthurt. :lol:


ಠ_ಠ Here's some free porn for your troubles: [link]

Love EdxRose? Join ~EdxRozeFC. ^^
~asianlunarprincess:iconasianlunarprincess: 2 days 1 hour ago Mood: Love
I could be like everyone else and say the old familiar "Thanks for the fav" or whatever, but I'm original.
I'm going to thank you for :+fav:-ing my work telepathically........
......
......
.......did you feel that?....yeah, that was me.=)

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=hexlord:iconhexlord: 2 days 5 hours ago
Thanks for faving :)

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Black Rabbit Photography
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*Jenya88:iconJenya88: 2 days 11 hours ago
Thank you for the fav!

:)

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~emo-agel27:iconemo-agel27: 3 days 5 hours ago
Thank you for the fave!

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Dir En Grey
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cause thery're all made of only cut guys!
~screwedskull:iconscrewedskull: 3 days 14 hours ago
thanks for the fave.

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[x]____ScrewedSkull
~GameNinja:iconGameNinja: 4 days 3 hours ago
Thanks for the fav. :)

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~HarunaAkatsuki:iconHarunaAkatsuki: 4 days 9 hours ago Mood: Affection
Thank you for the fave. \^o^/

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Vini. Veni. Retraxi